the last season

I never got around to posting my outfit photos from NYFW last season and now that I won't be able to attend any shows because of the new covid world we are living in, I look back at these memories with extra fondness. I had made the decision a while ago to redirect my career in fitness and I slowly started to spend less time in NYC as I focused on building connections here at home where I could train, get certified, and start teaching classes. The process happened faster than I thought it would take and within months, I had a full schedule with three different gyms. I began other workouts for cross-training and my body began to change. Everyone told me that I looked stronger and healthier but it also played a huge role in why I ultimately decided that I had to choose between fashion and fitness. While I know that I'm not considered overweight by any means, I also know that my body is no longer the ideal type in the fashion world. I hadn't changed anything else in my life - my diet was the same and I still did the same amount of cardio but dance fitness was no longer the only thing in my life anymore - and for so many years, that was the only thing that had really kept me so thin. I get on the scale every now and then just to see where I am and I can't imagine being 20 lbs lighter. I still struggle with how my body has changed over the past year but I love what I'm doing now - I love the various workouts, the fact that I'm strength training, and that I actually enjoy running and sculpting - and I wouldn't give any of it up just to be that skinny again. In these photos, my body is already starting to look different but my humble opinion is that I am still rocking this outfit regardless.

A more important aspect of fashion that I learned, which really opened my eyes thanks to the projects I was doing and the styling shoots I got to be involved in throughout the last 4 years, was how unsustainable this beautiful world of fashion really is. Almost all of the textiles goes into the landfills every year. Fashion production in itself makes up 10% of the worlds carbon emissions, dries up water sources, and pollutes our oceans. So many tons of microfibers end up in the ocean - equivalent to 50 billion water bottles. Many of the textiles are not even biodegradable. With fashion, collections change so quickly - I mean, fashion week showcases next seasons styles within 5 months of each other. Becoming more knowledgable of all these facts made it harder to turn the other cheek. I only spent three months in London for fashion design and I know it requires tremendous creativity, technical skills, and the perseverance to fight and make it in a cut-throat environment where very few become successful. So, of course, I have the utmost respect for this world - but it probably is not the right one for me to be so involved in. When I was looking into transferring for my last year in fashion school, FIT was just rolling out new courses in sustainable fashion and if I ever find time to make my way back, this would be a course I would want to study. I feel so inspired by Reformation and how their entire line revolves around sustainable fabrics so it's definitely doable to alter the industry but would require a tremendous shift within both commercial and high fashion brands.

Not being able to be part of NYFW for the first time in 4 years will feel different. Sad. Even as things changed in my life, this was the one constant I had that tied me to the amazing experiences I had in what I can only describe as a whirlwind affair with fashion. I still think about that day I flew to NYC just hours after my ninth 14 hour shift. I was exhausted but excited to be starting my first day at FIT in the afternoon. I think about that special person who just happened to be standing in front of me at the coffee shop across the street from the school, I think about how maybe if I hadn't dropped my wallet, he would never have started a conversation with me. And without that conversation, I wouldn't have been offered to help assist at a magazine shoot the following week - the most random and unexpected opportunity presented to me that ended up opening doors upon doors. I know all things come to an end but I'm hoping that I can still find something that will connect me to this industry that I love so much - but in a more responsible and healthy way.

1 comment:

  1. You look beautiful, fabulous and very fit in your outfit photos above.
    Congratulations on keeping fit! As far as your weight, more and more designers have been starting to come around toward using more healthy and curvaceous models.
    I am sure someone as beautiful as you are will always be desired in the fashion world.

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